Whining

Maybe it's because I'm trying not to think about my first day of work tomorrow, but I've been concentrating lately on figuring out whether to change my blog template. The trouble with already having an established name for a blog and a set visual image for it is that nothing you see in the world of free Blogger templates is quite right.

Trying to stick with the title's theme, I've been looking for interesting writing-related backgrounds, but all I came up with are scrolls and medieval journal-like things. They just all strike me as so literal.

When I think of "Writing in Wax," I picture a stylus pressing deep into a wax tablet-- easily to scribble, easy to erase.  I think this tablet softly lit by candlelight as someone labors away in the dark to get their thoughts down before sleep takes over. And none of these templates are quite up to my standards. 

This wouldn't be so irritating if I had Photoshop Elements on this computer, but I don't. Frankly, I don't even know if my old copy of the software will work on Vista. But if it did, I could just remake the banner I have right now-- just take out the references to college and such. 

This post needs to end now. I'm not writing anything productive and I'm just doing it to stave off the sleepless night I know if ahead of me. Sorry to all of you who just wasted your time.

K. 

No longer fits

My banner for this blog no longer fits me anymore. Sure, I can get a couple more weeks out of the college thing-- until I get my August diploma, that is. And while I'm thinking about it, should I just change the entire layout of this site? And do I really want to go through all of the hassle?

Too much to think about for now.

K.

Things I Like: Arrested Development

One of the things that I think is missing from TV today (aside from shows like "30 Rock" and "Lost") is the ability to create complicated story lines that are both cohesive enough to last through an entire season (or little reminders here and there) and entertaining at the same time. I think that this type of clever, forward-thinking writing is the saving grace of a medium that is more and more giving over to reality shows, stupid sitcoms, and cop/doctor dramas. However, television lost a shining light in its redemption when it callously canceled "Arrested Development."

No, I'm not one of those people who blames an idiotic public for the cancellation of "AD"-- I helped kill it in my own tiny way by not watching the show when it was on. And I can't really blame FOX either. After all, why waste valuable air time on something that only a select crowd seems to appreciate? Still, even with all this apparent magnanimity, I'm still kind of bitter.

For those of you who haven't seen "AD"-- and I know you're there, don't be shy-- you can find all three seasons on Hulu.com. Watch them. Seriously.

For those of you who have seen it, you know what I'm talking about.

Let me outline several reasons why I love this show.

1) My hetero-crush on Jason Bateman; my lesbian-crush on Portia de Rossi; my voice-crush on Will Arnett.

2) This video:

3) The "Happy Days" references. And why not? Ron Howard narrates and both Henry Winkler and Scott Baio have bit parts. You haven't seen anything until you see the Fonz making awkward references to his perverse sexual preferences.

4) Bob Loblaw Law Blog. Analrapist. Banana Grabber. Loose seal. "I've made a huge mistake." "Final Countdown." "Come on!" Mrs. Featherbottom.

5) And this video:

Oh, there are more, but you'll have to see for yourself (if you haven't already).

And that, my friends, was a Thing I Like.

K.

PS. An "AD" movie? Say what?!?

Huh?

Holy crap, India just contacted me to have a first round of interviews. Over the phone.

I can't understand accents over the phone. :(

K.

PS. I also just told my mom about this interview thing and she got this really tight-lipped expression on her face. Not good.

The Foody Philistine

In my lonely nighttime wanderings (it's still daytime for me, you know), I've been desperately looking for something to do. At 2 AM, I was watching a Home Improvement marathon. At 5 AM, I was eating a whole box of pizza. At 7 AM, I locked myself out of the house for 45 minutes with no bra or shoes. I've done nothing constructive.

I've finally found another book to read, though, conveniently stolen from my mother's Floor Library of Books Rarely Read. It's called The United States of Arugula (I think that's a veggie) and is one of those amusingly educational tomes about how our food culture has changed in America. I've perused the first few pages and have already developed some thoughts.

I'm a regular watcher of the Food Channel, if only to see Alton Brown and Marc Summers (we go way back). I also love those Food Network Challenges were masters in their field rush against the clock to create some wonderful culinary confections. Oooh, and Ace of Cakes. I love Ace of Cakes. Call me a nerd, but I adore the Food Channel.

Still, for all the time spent in front of the television, I'm still not a gourmet. Give me the simple. Don't make my grilled cheese with artisanal bread and brie. I don't want Kobe beef. And, dear Lord, don't put truffles in anything. I'm a simple girl with simple tastes.

Not that I won't try things. I've had my fair share of haggis, I've tried the 1,000 Year Old Egg (gak!), and I'm willing to give a shot to a local speciality even if it's not at all kosher. I'll eat the food for the experience, but I probably won't make it part of my daily diet.

So I'm a foody philistine. Eager to learn, but restrained when it comes to actually eating it.

K.

I Did It?

Well, we all know that I had to miss a day because of my internet outage, but, judging by this badge, "doing it" means that I had to post thirty times in thirty days. And I did. One day I posted twice. Count 'em. Thus, through thorough rationalizing, I've come to realize that I deserve this badge, dammit. I worked my butt off.

So there.

K.

Things I Learned During NaBloPoMo

Save pictures on your hard drive; don't link.

Shouting "Dear G-d, why isn't this month over?!?" does not make the month end faster.

One day of the internet being gone can ruin a whole month of work.

A one sentence post is perfectly acceptable when in the throes of NaBloPoMo.

No topic is too stupid during NaBloPoMo.

No, seriously, shouting "Dear G-d, why isn't this month over?!?" really does not make the month go faster. If anything, it draws out the torture.

Have fruit flies in your apartment? There's today's post right there.

Commenting on other blogs is more fun when everybody's suffering.

Rely on memes. They are your friends.

Thirty day months are infinitely better than 31 day months.

K.

Blogs Are Fun... and International!

Geez, this month is almost over... Thank G-d.

Tomorrow, I have to do a presentation for Computers and Writing. I'm thinking that I'm going to concentrate on blogs and the international realm. All the information I've found is rather interesting. For instance, did you know that the Japanese are the biggest posters in the blogosphere? I suppose we in the English-speaking world have no idea because we can't venture into foreign language blogs and understand them.

It's pretty incredible that something as simple as this little blog here can bring something of literary freedom to countries that usually censor print media. There are so many countries that we in the United States consider third-world that can speak out via weblogs. I may be alone here in thinking it's amazing. Hmm.

K.

FauxBloPoMo

So my internet went out yesterday and it was too cold and rainy to tramp over the library to use the wireless. Therefore, I guess I lose NaBloPoMo. It seems a little unfair that I have to wait a who other year until I can try again just because my internet provider decided to drop the ball, but I guess thems the breaks.

As it is, I'm very excited to be heading on vacation tomorrow. It's just the thing to cool my nerves. Apparently, this hotel has wireless, so I will try to continue posting as if I hadn't just failed at life. :)

K.

See, Now I'm All Confused

Hey, to the anonymous person who posted on the Drunk post. It would be helpful if you let me know exactly which photo is yours. Because the one on that post came from another blog... one without copyright info at the bottom of the page.

In the future, before you go leveling accusations, please at least take the time to put the URL of your site in the comment so that I can actually do something about it. I respect that you spent 12 years and thousands of dollars on your site, but there is absolutely no way I can do anything about if you don't give me a bit of a clue.

And it's not my intention to start on internet war with you, so I am perfectly willing to fix a mistake out of internet-ignorance. Lend respect to me so I can lend respect to you.

kthankbye

K.

This Does Not Bode Well for My Writing Career...

K.

I Wasn't Ignoring You! I Promise.

See, I thought I was getting a handle on this blogger thing, but then I switched to blogger beta and found that tons of people had left comments that I (apparently) needed to moderate. So to all those people that left me those 33 comments, I sincerely apologize. I've tried to make it a policy to reply to every comment left on this blog, but I've failed miserably.

Well, live and learn, I guess. I'll do better now.

K.

Bad Luck

I had written a hell of a post last night, but it was deleted by my personal friend, Blogger. Thanks, Blogger, I owe you one! So I was too despondent to re-write the thing and went to bed irritated.

About an hour later, I woke up with the feeling that my stomach was making a trek up to my mouth. I sprang from my bed and dashed into the bathroom. Several hours later, I came to the conclusion that I had been poisoned by university-produced salad, brushed my teeth, and fell into a deep, exhausted slumber.

As they say, it never rains-- it pours. Here's hoping for a more cheerful entry later tonight!

K.

Joys of Jersey?

And then there was silence. The violin legs of the crickets ceased their sawing; the croak of the bullfrog was utterly absent. Within this magnitude of quietude, a still, small voice was heard:

"Oops."

Yes, before my travels into the Garbage-- uh, I mean Garden State-- I irresponsibly neglected to ask what kind of internet my hosts used. Sadly, it was dial-up. E-mail did not get checked, entries did not get blogged, and valuable time that could have been spent looking up articles to make me giggle was lost. Pity.

Not that my trip to New Jersey was ruined by my lack of internet connection in the least. I perused the boardwalk of Seaside Heights, was berated for my lack of knowledge about carpentry in Allair State Park, and managed to watch nine Johnny Depp movies in the first annual Depp-athon. Even the facts that (1) Six Flags Great Adventure was shut down for some Boy Scout shindig, and (2) I was actually having fun in Satan's trash heap of a state didn't lessen my enjoyment of the long weekend.

I still reserve the right to make fun of their full-service gas stations.

K.

PS. I mean, really, why can't these people pump their own gas?

Spying for the Man

My father is an international security consultant who specializes in information brokering. When I tell my friends what my Dad does, they whistle, impressed: "Wow, your father's a spy!"

Whee hee hee.

Not quite, but his job is pretty cool. Sometimes I sit and listen in on his business calls, interested in just how he gets his information. He has a pretty unique network, which includes several international sources in Africa, Europe, and the Middle East. And now... me!

Well, sort of. See, I offered my post-university-pre-camp time to him, presenting my research skills, my persistence, and my laptop. I would allow him to boss me around for a mere pittance. Eagerly, he accepted and immediately put me to work looking up English-language jihadist websites located within the United States.

Jihadist websites? I thought, plopping myself down in front of the Google homescreen. Easy and interesting! Type in "jihad," add a little "Islam," and websites will pop up easy-peasy. After all, Neo-Nazi and KKK sites are easy to find, so why not violent anti-Americans?

Go on, type in those keywords into Google. I'll wait.

Find something? I'm sure you did. In fact, you found 10,300,000 somethings. See anything to suggest a website run by jihadists within America? If you did, you must be seeing something that I'm not.

I found websites defining jihad (the real jihad, not the convoluted definition that extremists use), JihadWatch (normally very useful, but not today), and sites/blogs raving on about the entire world's population of Muslims wanting to crush the West (bullshit). No jihadists.

So I tried to get a little more specific. I tried adding "American" to the mix, then "destroy," then "Detroit." No luck. After two hours of scouring the web and only picking up bits and pieces, I stumbled upstairs to confront my father.

"Dad," I frowned, "these sites don't exist. Not in English, anyway."

"Yeah, they do."

"Nuh-uh."

"I know they do. Go look again. That's what I'm paying for."

"Ugh!" I stomped back to the computer and stared at the screen. Finally, I began typing again. Here's what I searched for:

Destroy American dogs

I had always heard translations of terrorist speeches referring to Americans as "dogs" in order to dehumanize them. Unfortunately, Google cheerfully provided me with sites on how to euthanize my pitbull.

Murder Americans

Err, not what I'm looking for.

Al-Qud

You know they are making a pair of jeans specifically for Muslims to store gear in during prayer? Called Al-Qud jeans? I didn't know that either.

Ask.com: How do I kill Americans?

And they say that Ask.com has all of the answers!

So, I haven't found any sites about radical Muslims hating Americans. That was a bust. But I did find a load of sites about Americans hating Muslims. All Muslims.

Pathetic. Pretty soon we'll be running all Muslims-- good, bad, or indifferent-- out of our American cities with pitchforks and buckets of tar. Brilliant.

Before we complain about the hate others feel towards us, perhaps we ought to address our own deep-seated hatred towards those who have never harmed us.

K.

PS. Sorry for the crappy, cranky, unorganized post. Things will improve, I promise.

Make My Season Finale with a Dash of Science

Students of literature are notorious for being picky about the kind of mental stimulation they open themselves to. Some only touch the great European classics; others won't be in the presence of a book that wasn't written by an African-American lesbian writer. Still others-- those of discriminating taste-- refuse to bask in the glow of the Devil's spawn.

That's right. Television.

Not that I follow that line of thinking. Like everything, television is a medium best used in moderation. And, depending how you use it, TV can impart some knowledge through such channels as The Learning Channel (when it's not showing fashion tips), The History Channel, The Travel Channel, The Discovery Channel, etc. etc. Seriously, who can bash television when you can watch Alton Brown explain the chemistry of cooking on Good Eats? I certainly can't.

Alas, I wish I could say that I was going to rave on about TV's educating aspects, but no. Instead, I'll be concentrating on... gasp... prime-time dramas.

More specifically, CSI:Las Vegas (none of this spin-off crap, I'm a purist).

I'll admit it: CSI can't be considered educational material. Those who are CSIs in real life rarely leave the lab. Tests that take minutes on the show can last for hours, even days, in real life and CSIs don't arrest people. But come now, admit it. This show stands way above the dross of the TV world: soap operas and after-school specials.

So, anyway, tonight was the season finale and the resolution of a pressing cliffhanger. One character, a particular favorite of mine due to his biting sense of humor, had been shot twice and was on the brink of death. On top of that, we had the reappearance of his crack whore daughter, a decapitated son of the South with a penchant for man-corsets, and a pre-diabetic determined to end it all with all the drugs, alcohol, prostitutes, and cake he could find. Finally, the show's avowed bachelor shows that he may be dappling with the fairer sex.

Ooooh, the drama! I love it!

See, CSI is the only show (besides those with, you know, real people) in which any character biting the dust makes me unhappy. The writers and actors on that show manage to make a lab full of science nerds exceptionally interesting. Luckily for me, it turns out that no one dies this season. No fake-mourning for fake-people! So now I'm looking forward to next season.

Here's where the problem comes in. This fall, the powers that be will move Grey's Anatomy up to Thursday at 9 PM, which will put it in direct competition with CSI. My future roommate is a Grey's devotee.

Oh uh, trouble in paradise.

So I now need to learn how to program my VCR. Or my roommate and I can institute a weekly brawl with the winner turning to the show of her choice.

I had better get working on that VCR.

K.

Something to Look Into

Can't hurt to look, can it?

K.

Art Imitating Life

Thank you, Arcamax Publishing. "Zits" by Jerry Scott & Jim Borgman

I'm sure everybody feels like this at some point.

K.

Success!

I've finally managed to spice up my blog a little. For many people, this is a simple matter of tweaking some HTML and CSS and then BAM!-- finished. But I am an idiot, so it has taken me several days to actually do something that should actually take minutes.

Oh, well. However long it's taken me, there are some resources that were integral to my great success. For those who are computer-illiterate, use these:

Publishing a Blog with Blogger, by Elizabeth Castro.

BlogU-- a huge help.

There is still much to do on this blog, but this is a start! :)

K.

Dish Network is Not for the Weak

Being home has really messed up my schedule. Not that there was much of one to begin with. However, there was a certain amount of downtime I could expect at school, only because there was nothing else to do at that point.

Now my family has introduced a new time waster: satellite TV. Movies, new channels, shows-- too much for my weak, weak mind. Right now, Hidalgo is on Starz, and I can't take my eyes off of it.

Damn you, Dish Network, and all of your ilk! Better, longer entries when I can find internet access away from the television.

K.