I'm going to have the Jewiest Christmas ever.
Some will cock their heads and ask, "Wait, wasn't the Jewiest Christmas ever the time when you had Chinese food and saw Munich in the theater?" No, that was the most depressing Christmas ever. This will be the Jewiest Christmas ever.
Because this Christmas, my friends, will be the Christmas my family and I drive down to Florida. Yes, we will snowbirds for a few days, just like my old-school aunt and uncle. Granted, we will be there for my brother's soccer tournament, but it's better than being incredibly lonely at home like most Christmases.